I'll scratch yours, if you scratch mine.

I always give more than I receive. Well, at least when friends or lovers are involved. This is to no one's fault but my own. I am a natural giver. This trait has been handed down from generation to generation in the Belcher family of women. We cook, we clean, loan money, buy presents, lend a kind shoulder, wipe the asses of our loved one's children, rush to our friend's side in times of crisis, all because this is what we learned from our mothers. Problem is, due to adaptation and new ways of life, I am (my sister too) are starting to feel unappreciated. We give because it is learned, but we start to feel like we are being taken advantage of when it is not reciprocated.

Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy doing things for those that I love. If I had more to give, I probably would. The part that is starting to get me down and out is the passiveness of my loves when I actually need something. It seems these people make themselves unavailable when I am in a crisis, or need to borrow a few bones. I want to say to these people, "Remember when I was an hour late for work because you were sobbing over that jerkbag boyfriend", or "remember when I loaned you some money so your account wouldn't be overdrawn", and "remember all those times I did all the dishes, not just mine, but yours too, and didn't say a word?" Again, this is my fault for doing these things out of kindness and expecting something in return.

So, how do I get to a middle ground in this situation where I can still enjoy being the giving creature that I am and not feel unappreciated or taken advantage of?

I think I now the answer, but I am going to ponder for a bit before I relay my response.